Human beings are conditioned to love and be loved. Anyone, man or woman who wants to live a serious love life expects this reciprocity. Moreover, living a one-sided love is a real ordeal. That said, feeling attracted to someone doesn’t always mean it’s love. It could be a desire, which is also a deep feeling, but compared to love, this is temporary.
As a result, building a couple relationship (by the way serious) from a desire turns out to be a bad decision. I know, some couples succeed in transforming this desire into sincere love, but this is not always the case for others. And indeed many people have suffered (or have made their partners suffer) because of this desire. They have believed that what they are experiencing is true love, and when the day comes when they are aware of the contrary, the separation is truly painful.
Many young people and adults often confuse desire and love, although some manage to dissociate them. Indeed, these are two feelings that can be close but are totally distinct.
How do you know if what you feel for this man is true love or not?
The answer to this question will help you get to know each other better and have a better idea of the future of your relationship. It will also reassure you that you are heading in the right direction and that you are not falling prey to a false belief.
If you asked yourself this question it is because you had a great meeting. The man who seduced you makes you feel that you are so beautiful and so exceptional. He wants to make you happier but you hesitate a little before entrusting your love to him. Be sure, it’s already a good sign. But first of all, you should know the points that clearly make the difference between love and desire.
I think it’s lust but I’m not so sure
Desire is a feeling that makes you want to get closer to a person, to be in their company, to share good times and pleasure with them. In some cases, this rather deep feeling even arouses the desire to share an intimate moment. It could be a simple hug or a one-on-one moment with more affinity. This feeling is fluctuating, therefore unstable and uncontrollable. On certain days this feeling amplifies and in other moments it runs out of steam.
In the general case, when the object of desire is reached, this very desire flies away. Let’s take the example of the fact that you have a craving for pizza. Once you’ve eaten a good pizza, naturally you move on. You might want a burger the next day. It will take a few days for you to have another pizza craving. This is a simplified image of the feeling of desire
You certainly have in mind the kind of man you would describe as the ideal man. This can include charm, voice, hairstyle, manner of dress, physique and even more qualifications. This expectation and this imagination fuel this desire. When the moment comes when you meet the type of man who meets your expectations, without knowing him, you are subconsciously attracted to this man before pulling yourself together. It’s not necessarily love but desire just because this man meets some of your criteria. do you have why? Because you can feel the same feeling when, shortly after, you meet another man with similar physique and qualities. So, a desire without real love is possible even though the feeling of love can develop after the desire.
I think I’m in Man love
Here we go, let’s define what love is, at least I will try to explain it to you with simple and easy to understand illustrations. And let’s be honest, giving an exact definition to this feeling is next to impossible. Each in his own way of approaching it, as each in his own way of defining what a proof of love is. In the following lines, I will bring you some explanations allowing you to differentiate love from desire.
Love is more than desire. It’s a very deep feeling that normally doesn’t go away. A person feeling love towards another person does not decide overnight to no longer experience this feeling. In this case, it will take a lot of time and a lot of work for this feeling to dissipate contrary to the desire. As I illustrated to you above, desire gradually fades away once the object of desire has been achieved.
Unlike desire, love goes far beyond the physical. When you are truly in love, you want to give more than to receive. You want to make him but also bring him pleasure. You aspire to his happiness before yours and your happiness is to see the loved one happy by your side. You can’t be selfish when you’re in love . You want to know him better. Then, you give more value to this person in all his human values.
Again, one can love a person without physically desiring them. This is called platonic love. There are many couples whose sexual act is not an integral part of their love life but they love each other. However, for some, desire is inherent in love and can even fuel it. You probably notice that it’s not easy to tell the difference between these two feelings because they can be related to each other. But what will help you identify if it’s love or desire that you feel for this man is that true love sends you signs.
Signs of being in Man love
This feeling expresses itself and sends you visible signals that translate into changes in your previous feelings, your behaviours and even your personality. One of the signs that can reassure you is that you find this man interesting and that you really want to know him. This desire goes beyond knowing that it is his favourite colour or his favourite dish. It is rather a question of knowing it from top to bottom. How is it really? What type of romantic relationship is he looking for? Who is the ideal woman for him? What are the motivations that inspire him? And the list does not end there. In a few words, you find that he has a part of him that you cannot define, identify and you want to discover it at all costs.
Once you have perceived the mystery (let us point out that knowing a person 100% is impossible), you would probably discover that it does not correspond to some of your criteria but you appreciate its authenticity. At this precise moment, you are afraid of losing him .
This person is your “half orange” and that without him you are incomplete. You develop in yourself a certain feeling of dependence towards him and still a desire for exclusivity. Moreover, “Really loving intensifies our feeling of existing”, affirms Monique Schneider (Monique Schneider, born on February 4, 1935, is a French psychoanalyst and philosopher, teacher by training.). You are loved and you regain your self-confidence , you have a good image of yourself. You identify your values and you value them. All this, thanks to the attention that your ideal man incarnate pays. Then, you feel the desire that pushes you towards your partner. Again, the desire is linked with love to develop an attachment between you.
You really like him too if you agree to engage with him. You know you don’t know everything about him, but you’re ready to take the risk and live the adventure with much more motivation. You are ready to give him a share of your life and your time without necessarily expecting the same from him. I know love shouldn’t be one-sided but this return shouldn’t be a capital need. In this case, the couple will regularly face conflicts and it is not good for both people.
Love gives us the strength and motivation we need to engage body and soul with another person . This feeling allows us to accept the good but especially the bad sides of the other. This deep feeling pushes us to project ourselves into the future in the company of this person. Therefore, before embarking on a declaration of love to the man you like, take the time to really identify your feelings . If it’s just desire, don’t be hard on yourself and accept reality. Above all, do not force yourself to commit seriously because it should happen naturally. And above all, avoid giving false hope to the person.
