Those of us who have been in love before know that it can be a very intense feeling; so intense in fact that it is very hard to control. Despite the fact that we are mainly logical beings, our emotions often take over the best of us; and it is not the worst thing. After all if everything in life was pure logic then things would be pretty boring. But it still begs the question as to why do we get those feelings and how come they control us; and is there a chance that we can control ourselves when we are in love?
It’s in our nature
The human kind is designed to multiply and spread in very much the same way that animals; plants and bacteria is. In order for us to spread we must reproduce; which is why our biological imperative always tries to pair males and females to have offspring who can then do the same in the future. It is the ever ending cycle of life designed by nature. It therefore seems logical that we develop feelings which lead us to do just that. Of course there are other factors which can help us to reproduce; the main one being that our sexual organs make us feel pleasure when we use them. Whether we are in a relationship or we are single; our body makes us desire the act of having sex. It can be sex with no strings or with some form of attachment; but either way we are basically programmed to have as much of it as possible in order to help us populate the gene pool.
Love is sold to us
The other factor is that over the years the idea of love has been promoted to us by various people. Whether it is the church which wants people to live in marriage or even the media which romanticises it; we are inundated by messages that love is the most important feeling and that we must all find it at some time in our lives. It makes it sound like love is essential; and that without it we are not complete; therefore making us feel empty and alone when we don’t feel it. This can explain beyond our natural instincts why it is so hard for us to let go of our feelings; because without them we don’t really have a place in society.
Confused feelings
Of course love is easily confused with lust and infatuation; and those are three different types of feelings. Lust is a heightened form of sexual desire; whilst infatuation is a form of attachment that happens very quickly (like love at first sight). The best thing we can do to keep our feelings in check is to differentiate what we feel. True love comes with time, when we know we can count of someone because they are always there for us; like our parents and friends can be. By acknowledging that you are feeling lust or infatuation rather than love, you can figure out what it is you are really going through in your head. Make the difference between those three feelings and you will be able to keep your mind in check.
